Random

I called Vicorp today & requested the same checks I've been trying to get for over 6 months now. The checks arent much but still. The guy i spoke to is Clifford and he's got this deep voice like the truck driver on Joy Ride. But he's got a name of a big red dog. Also, I was logging into my email to send a notification to Cliff and the sign on was James's, I thought that email was expired so i text him and asked him why he tried logging on to that and he got deffensive. Which usually means something wrong was done but whatever, I've come to the land of no care. I've induced massive amounts of caffeine and my daily headaches finally came to say hello. My painting supplies are still stored at my mom's since I got back in Vegas and I haven't had the chance or means to go and get them, its frustrating, and I think I'm having artist relaps. I need to paint.
The cell phone I'm using since i lost mine is doing crazy things again, i dont know if all my msgs are going out or if I'm getting phone calls that are important. So today isn't any better than yesterday.

I've had the same fantacy since I was 15. I wanted to drive away with a few things and just follow the road until i reach a far off place where no one knows me. There I can reinvent my self and start off as if i were just born.

Jai Guru Deva Om

I havent felt like my self in such a long time.

Life feels like its moving faster than I can run. I have this overwhelming sense of failure and I haven't even gotten started. I'm exhausted everyday without anything to show for it in the end. When i was younger, i pictured my self at 20 and I saw myself doing bigger & better things.

On myspace I found so many dif artists page and I grow green with envy. I hate my self for becoming those people who push the thing their so passionate for away for a more stable thing.

Its almost 3 am, I havent slept.

Insomnia is even harder when you stay up longer for such an unproductive life.